The Coaching Book Club Podcast
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The Coaching Book Club Podcast
From Compensation to Confidence: Building Strong Ground as a Coach
In this episode of The Coaching Book Club Podcast, Christy and Ken explore Strong Ground by Brené Brown — a powerful invitation to lead and coach from the inside out.
Instead of chasing polished performance, Dr. Brown offers a deeper path: one rooted in clarity, consistency, and grounded confidence. Together, we unpack what it means to build strength that’s steady, not showy — especially in the messy middle of becoming a coach.
We explore:
- What “compensation muscles” look like in coaching — and how to spot when we’re using them
- Why grounded confidence feels quieter (and more trustworthy) than polished performance
- How repetition, reflection, and rest shape mastery over time
- What it means to grow at the speed of integration — not urgency
Whether you're building toward your MCC or just beginning to trust your presence over your credentials, this episode is a gentle reminder: real growth doesn’t rush. It roots.
Welcome to the Coaching Book Club podcast, where books don't just teach, they transform. I'm Christy Stuber and I'm here with my friend and co-host Ken McKellar. Every episode invite you to move from reflection to real world coaching presence one page at a time. So whether you're walking the dog, making your morning coffee, or between coaching calls, we're so glad you're here. And today we're exploring Strong Ground by Brene Brown, a book that reframes leadership as an embodied practice. It's about building strength from the inside out, not through intensity or urgency, but through consistency, clarity, and groundedness. In this episode, we're going to offer a grounding overview of the book, share a few of the key takeaways that stirred something in us, and reflect on how these ideas are showing up in our coaching. So whether you've read the book or are just listening in, there's something here for you. So, hey, Ken.
Ken McKellar:You know, sometimes you wait for an album to come out. Album. That's a record. You know what? I'm not gonna try to educate the people. Google it.
Speaker 3:Go on Grandpa,
Ken McKellar:and, or, or there's a movie that's coming out, you're like, okay, it's coming out like you're in August and it's coming out on Christmas and you can't wait for it. Yeah. Uh, Brene Brown, she fits that when her books or her works are coming out, it's like, oh. I can't wait till that book comes out and she did not disappoint.
Christy Stuber:I agree. It's a great book and I, what I really love about the book is about the, the physical, um, embodiment she talks about with the book. She, you know, says that she gets injured playing pickleball and her physical therapist tolds her that they have to get her stable first to God, focus on their core and her grounding. And I think about my own development as a coach and as a human, and how much I've learned from my physical practices that I've done, including my yoga practice, well, primarily my yoga practice that I've done for 20 years. What I can feel in my body and what it's been teaching me about myself and my being. When am I overdoing something? When am I comparing something? What's going on? And in this book, she talks a ton about sports metaphors. And so of course I had to ask you as our resident athlete, um, or at least team sport athlete, uh, I'm just wondering what landed for you as you think about your football career and your development and what you see now as a coach and human developer.
Ken McKellar:Well as, first of all, I felt like she sat down and she said to herself, to her people, I'm writing a book for Ken McKellar. I'm gonna talk about pickleball. I'm gonna talk about. Philadelphia Eagles, which is my favorite. I, I don't know. I have a, I, I feel like that's her favorite team too, the way she talked about the tush push, right? Uh, she talked about like the agony of defeat. Right. I don't know if you remember that, but that's, I remember the wide world of sports. I mean, that was, we showed up for that. Howard Cosell was a commentator. We gonna know, and we knew the agony the feet man. Right. That, oh man. She talked about that. Uh, and then she talked about, like she, she referenced my favorite people. She brings in Adam Grant. She wrote this book. More Ken McKellar, and I'm glad that the rest of the world has an opportunity to leverage what she did for me. Oh my goodness. Okay. So no, I, I, I really, I really, you're talking about teams, you're talking about relationships, you're talking about, you know, the good and the bad. I mean, some of like. Susan Cain's work. Right. And bittersweet showed up in this. Um, I mean, I mean, there, there's a parallel between the two. So yeah, there's, there's, there's a lot of fun stuff that you can work with and you can take with, in the coaching community and the leadership community. And guess what? And family as well too.
Christy Stuber:Mm-hmm. That was actually one of my takeaways from this book was, um, that she talks about leadership, but all, everything she mentions is also about coaching. And so it's making me think differently that coaching is leadership and that actually leadership could be anything to your point, you could be a leader in your family, you could be a leader in your community. You could be a, but you don't need a title. That says that you're a leader. It's how you show up. That is what, um, has people following you.
Ken McKellar:Yeah. Mm-hmm. I would even say you are a leader in these different areas of your life, whether it's family, whether it's church, you know, you run the Glee club, right? You may showing up as leader there. Um, whether it's at the YMCA, you know what? I do the volunteer for the, the eight, 9-year-old volleyball, right? So I'm showing up as a leader there. You got these little eight and nine year olds going up to me and say, what do I do now? What do I do now? Right? So, are you leading? Right? How are you leading? Right. Are you leading with, um, or are you leading, um, into some other way? So yeah, it, it, it's, woo. Let's, let's get started. We we go, go ahead, go, go ahead. Go ahead. Yeah, let's get this. Let's get started with this thing.
Christy Stuber:Well, there are so many takeaways and it probably is a good idea to let our listeners know. This is gonna be a two-part episode. It is our first two-parter because there's so many things to talk about. So I'm gonna try to pick, um, one of my top takeaways from this book, and we'll go over probably three in this episode and we'll do some more in the second one. Um, let me think about, I think one of my takeaways is compensation muscles versus core strength. And so when she, um, we talked about her having an injury and pickleball and going to her trainer and her trainer, assessing her in different areas and saying, okay, you are overusing your big muscles and you are not strong in your core and strong in your smaller muscles, which means when you're tired or, or, um. Stressed, you are more likely to utilize those compensation muscles, the big ones that you use all the time. And by doing that, you are more likely to continue getting injured because you're not fully balanced in form, particularly with your core and your grounding. And so I think about that, like, oh, when am I overusing my strengths? You know, if I know that my strengths are learning and input and connection and relationship, when I'm tired in a coaching session, or if my client does something that creates some insecurity in me, what is my habitual response? Is it to, to lean in and try to take care of my client because relationship is a strength of mine, rather than sitting back and letting them come up with their own answers. Is it collecting a lot of information? Oh, tell me more stories. Gimme more context, because I want input. Instead of, I don't need all that input. I need to know what my client thinks about what's going on. So for me, it's that awareness of where am I coaching from in this moment? Am I coaching from a default, habitual mode because I'm tired or am I fully centered and able to stay, um, stay grounded in curiosity from my client.
Ken McKellar:Yeah, you bring up a lot of good points. A lot of good points that relate to some of the changes of the new ICF competencies. It speaks to how are you showing up for yourself and for the client. So I get that. I get that. I also like that first chapter, part two, where she talks about the pickleball, just because I am. Master at watching pickleball. Watching pickleball, yeah. Yeah. I'm not there yet playing, but I can watch a good pickleball game. I can tell you, I can, from the side, I also like, like what you talked about in terms of, you know, recovering right. And repetition and coming from the perspective of coach development, right? I'm supporting a lot of people and, and, you know, leveraging new ways of thinking as a coach through the mentoring and supervision. And what comes up a lot is that we, we, let's remember that the way to get better is to repeat over and over and over as far as. Coaching, coaching, coaching. The more we do, the more we have an opportunity to learn, but also taking those breaks and reflecting on what we have learned or what we can do differently is kind of like building that muscle. I mean, me riding a bike every single day all out doesn't give the the muscle time to recover, right? So me. Doing coaching and not stepping back and talking and saying, okay, what's working, what's not working? Doesn't give me time as a coach to really, um, leverage growth opportunities.
Christy Stuber:You also just said a lot, so I'm gonna say my next takeaway is kind of a combination of a few of mine, um, which is, um. That transformation, especially in coaching and coach development, is iterative. I think this goes along with what you said, but repetition, right? That it is, um, slow. It is non-linear. It can be uncomfortable. It requires discipline. And I think about my, my journey that I'm on still towards my MCC and how, you know. I originally thought, oh, I take one training course, I get two recordings and I'm done. And to go to mastery, it needs to be a, a process that has all the things you said, repetition, listening to recordings. Where are other choice points on this recording that I could start training my brain, my brain to notice? Um. It's nonlinear. It's not like I take, I do one session and the next one's gonna be amazing, and the next one's even more amazing. Some days it's really great. Some days it's like, oh, that didn't quite do it. And I've said this before on this podcast, but I don't think I can say it enough. And she mentions it in the book, that mastery, this is a quote, mastery is about being a student of the game. So mastery is not about just skill development, just perfecting the competencies, but it's understanding that everything needs to shift inside of you. And that's all learning process. So for me, as I mentioned, learning is one of my strengths, and so when I reframed my journey as a learning process, there was more joy in it. More joy then led to me having more energy to be able to be. Comfortable with things being slow and non-linear. Mm-hmm. And I should say comfort is maybe a big word 'cause it's still uncomfortable times, but I have more energy to be able to, to ride those waves as they come along and not get pulled under by them.
Ken McKellar:Yeah. You said a mouthful because you know, I thrive on learning. And I'm looking for every opportunity to see how, how can I do that a little bit different? Or if I don't say that, or this office said this, some ball dive, lemme test it out. Lemme test it out. Because when I test it out, I'm like, oh, that, that, that does feel good. That does feel good and that works, um, for me. So, man, I'm, I'm feeling that. I'm feeling out. What else, what else for you?
Christy Stuber:Well, I think the last one I would say is, um, this idea of grounded confidence, and we're gonna talk about this more deeply in the second episode, but Brene describes this concept of grounded confidence as being rooted in self-awareness, courage, and practice, and that it's not performance. And that was important for me to remember again in my coach development journey. And not just MCC, but the whole journey, right? Two things. One is it's not performance, it's not an act that I'm putting on. That grounded confidence and mastery and coaching comes from within. So it is built from within through my self-awareness, through my willingness to practice over and over again, even when it feels hard for my courage to listen to my recordings and to get feedback on my recordings, even when I don't want to, and that there's never an endpoint. Just because I get the shiny pin that I can put on my lapel when I go to a conference that says MCC doesn't mean I've arrived anywhere. That this journey is only continuing to integrate more and more of these, um, ways of being into me. Mr. MCC, what do you think about that? Have you arrived?
Ken McKellar:Well, no, I haven't arrived, but, but that's Tiny Pin does mean something that Tiny Pin 10 is, it's, that may not say you arrived as I define it, but you did something. You put, you put. Forth the hard work. You looked at your coaching, you listened to your recordings, you've got your mentors, you, you, you, you, you reflected, I'm talking about you looked at your own personal shadows in root to elevating your coaching. So the c the shiny pen for the MC is shiny for different people. For different reasons. So you got that shiny pen where you'll get that shiny pen and it will represent all the steps and stages that you took to shift how you look at coaching and how you look at who you want to be as a coach. And I'm thinking this is what, uh, B Brown is saying in her work, is there is that. Bittersweet of wow, these, these moments that, hey, I made a difference in people's lives. Right? And then there's, there's moments that, man, I'm just not getting it. I just don't see it. I'm not seeing it. How do I establish a coaching agreement? Like the measurement? Why is that important for me? And how's that I, I just, ah, right. And then at the same time, there's that, yes, because I made the, did the work. I made a difference in this person. Yes. I did it. So let's not poo PPO in that shiny pen. I ain't gonna let you do that because hey, people have gone around wearing those little shiny pens on a lapel, whether it's MCC PCC or ACC that says, Hey, I did the work.
Christy Stuber:Yes. That to me is different than I did the work and I'm done, or I've done the work and I'm continuing to do the work. It's like, you know, I'm in Pittsburgh. City of Champions, we have how many Super Bowl rings anyway, um, you get a ring because you had a great season. Everything came together for you. It all worked amazing. But you're not, you're not the champion the next year, right? You start over again and we don't start over as coaches necessarily. But it's, it's not a thing where you, you hit it and you're done. And that's, I think the point I'm trying to make is, yes, it's absolutely a sign of all the dedication, the commitment, the effort put into the development of yourself. And it's a continuing journey. 'cause we're different the day after we get the pin. We're a different person and the world's different.
Ken McKellar:I agree with you 100% like the Eagles. Who are the current champions? Thank you very much. Alright, go Birds. Go Birds, right? They can't stop there. There's a new season right now, right? And we gotta put in the work to continue at looking at can we get another championship so when we're done we can look back and say, Hey, this is the landscape of my work. And I'm hope when I'm done as a coach, that I can look at it and there will be the seeds of other coaches out there that's doing amazing, phenomenal things and I can look back and say, man, that that, that's some good stuff.
Christy Stuber:Maybe I'm just saying this because we're recording this on a Monday and my team played Sunday night football last night and apparently lost. I went to bed before the game was over. And I'm trying to like put that into perspective that we all have those coaching conversations where we think, oh, that could have been better. Oh, I could have done something different. Um. Thankfully ours are not publicized in front of millions of people. And that what you said at the end of, whenever we finish all of this, we can look back at everything we've done and see it all in that bigger context. Gave me chills as you were talking about it. So Ken, what are you gonna take away from what we've talked about so far apply to your personal coaching practice?
Ken McKellar:Well, I mean. This is a wonderful journey, right? Part of the journey is having an opportunity to have conversations with you and just reference the many different authors that we get a chance to spend time with through their literature. It reminds me that this is it. Where we are is where we are, and I have the opportunity to to keep on. Looking at how to do things differently, how to do things better, but I say at the same time, how to spring off of things that I felt short on or things that I wanna wanna change. I mean, shoot coaches, coaches, supervisors, and mentors. I wanna say to you, thank you for not stopping. Thank you for not giving up. I just wanna thank you for having the courage to keep on, even though it didn't turn out like you wanted to. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm talking. I'm gonna thank you for your difficult days, your hard days, that you still open up and found the light to move forward on move. Continue on this journey.
Christy Stuber:I'm ready to take the field.
Speaker 3:You got me
Christy Stuber:fired up.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Christy Stuber:Well, let me just share one quick takeaway for me and then we will we'll close out for today. Um, uh, but although I feel fed saying this, 'cause you were just so, just a rallying cry that you just made. Um, for me though, I think the takeaway is gonna be something very small. Although I'm pausing as I'm saying this because I'm thinking about presence and pocket presence that she talks about that is important for quarterbacks who play American football. Um, what I'm noticing and I wanna focus on is where can I do less in my coaching and in order to do less, how can I get grounded enough to feel comfortable doing less? Not jumping in to rescue my client, not jumping in to do something, you know, ask more questions, but to just let things be. Um, and what you said about mentors and supervisors, I really appreciate because that's where I learn and see my ability to do less is through sharing a recording with my mentor or listening to it myself, and also through supervision where I can then figure out why do I do this? Like, why am I continuing to jump in here? What's going on? So thanks for bringing the full, um, the full environment of coaching into our episode today. So that wraps up our conversation on part one of Strong Ground, from Grounded Confidence to Joyful Discipline. We hope this episode reminded you that coaching isn't about performing mastery, it's about practicing it, so you're not behind, you're becoming one breath, one session, one moment at a time. If you'd like to take today's reflection deeper and get CCE credit while you're at it, we've created a book guide and reflection tracker for this book. You can download it in the show notes. You can get the credit that you deserve for reading with intention and growing. And if you enjoyed this episode, follow the Coaching Book Club podcast on your favorite platform, and connect with us on LinkedIn where we share weekly coaching prompts and behind the scenes reflections. And if you have a favorite book we haven't covered, send it our Way. We'd love to hear from you. Until next time, stay curious. Be gentle with yourself and happy coaching.
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